I sit alone. I eat alone. I read and listen to my music alone. At home I go immediately to my room after eating my snack and taking my meds. I stay there for upwards of 4 hours after school until dinner, at which point, I sit with my family for maybe an hour, then go back to my room.
Most of that crap is the same for normal teenagers. But when I say I sit alone, I mean that I never sit with other people for longer than an hour. I cannot physically stand to have them near me. I don’t actually dislike them, but the closeness of them just freaks me out. Even my closest friends don’t sit next to me for longer than 90 minutes, because if they try I move away again.
Now that I’m in an entirely new set of classes with people I’ve never even seen before, I’m realising that when I arrive in class early, people always seat themselves at a distance of one chair’s gap or further from me. I don’t do anything, because I kind of like it, but it’s a little disturbing that I can be that easily sussed out after 16 years of practise.
People are hard.
Have you ever had a moment when you think that everyone knows you’re “out of the metaphorical mental health closet”? This is open to anyone except people with clinical paranoia, for obvious reasons.
Sammy, I’ve noticed that most people won’t sit in a chair directly next to another person if there’s another available. That may just be an American thing, though.